At least make sure they are 18
Why
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
