...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
