We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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