God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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