You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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