maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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