One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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