And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
