I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
