My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
