No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
