And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
