5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
