I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
