apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
