then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
