Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
