if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
