You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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