I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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