The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
