Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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