"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's great music for shaving your balls
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
