Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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