Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
