Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
