Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
