Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
