1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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