Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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