Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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