I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
