if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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