i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
