the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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