i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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