I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
