Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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