Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
only if we run a train.
done.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
