I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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