dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
