haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
