Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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