just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
