all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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