Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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