Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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