I puked a lego.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
