just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
