fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
