Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
