sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
